Today I am joined by the inspiring Teri Wellbrock. She shares with us her life-altering journey with healing after the many traumas she has gone through. Teri believes in the power of hope in our healing journeys and really getting to thrive in our lives after trauma. It is never too late to start your healing. Listen in for a beautiful conversation of difficult traumas, healing, hope, and forgiveness.
About our guest
Teri Wellbrock is a trauma-warrior, having survived and thrived after learning to cope with her C-PTSD symptoms and 25 years of severe panic attacks by utilizing EMDR therapy, personal research and learned coping skills along with a foundation of faith and positivity. Teri is currently writing a book; speaks publicly about her triumph over a trauma; is mom to three beautiful children; graduated magna cum laude with a degree in Psychology; hosts and produces The Healing Place Podcast; maintains a blog and writes a monthly Hope for Healing Newsletter; has written a children’s book, The Doodle with the Noodle, with her daughter, about their Therapy Dog, Sammie the Labradoodle; and created the Sammie’s Bundles of Hope project. Teri’s professional history includes sales, managing, teaching, and case management with a mental health agency. Her life purpose is to make a positive difference in the lives of others and shine a light of hope into dark spaces.
Hope for Healing School: https://academy.teriwellbrock.com/
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I know you, you are afraid to speak up, you are scared of what other people think of you. And you blame yourself for what happened to you. I know how it feels. Because I’ve been there. If you found me, I’m so grateful you’re here. This podcast will give you hope. And now I’m your host, Anna ditchburn. I’m going to hold your hand and provide the guidance that I needed the most. It’s time for you to find your why. And turn your experience into your superpower. So lock your door, put your headphones in, and enjoy. Teri Wellbrock. Welcome to the world’s best Trauma Recovery podcast.Teri Wellbrock:
Oh my gosh, Anna, thank you so much for having me. I’m excited to be here to have a great conversation about trauma and recovery and healing and hope today.Anna Ditchburn:
It’s gonna be an amazing conversation. Yeah. Terry, and you are a psychologist, you’re a writer. And you are an amazing host of the healing place podcast, and the founder of the semis bundle of Hope Project.Anna Ditchburn:
I’m wondering, what is this? The Sammie’s Bundles of Hope project is about?Teri Wellbrock:
Yeah, well, first to clarify, I’m not a licensed psychologist, I have a degree in psychology, but I just don’t want anyone to reach out and be like, Hey, what’s your input as a psychologist, so just to clarify that. And CMEs funnels of Hope was a project I started, we have therapy dogs, Sammy, who is a Labradoodle, and the sweetest sweetest soul I’ve ever met. And my daughter, who is now a teenager, but at the time, she was, I don’t know, nine or 10 years old. And she and some of her friends were saying, I wish we could do something to help little kids who are going through trauma or hurting. And I just thought it was such a, they’re just such sweet kids. And I thought, let’s do something with CME related. And so we came up with the idea to collect bags, and we had people donate little pull string bags, and all different kinds of bags. And then we started reaching out to folks like therapists and trauma, people who work in the trauma recovery arena. And they donated big boxes of stress balls or bubbles, or journals and markers. And so we all of a sudden had this collection coming in of things to put in these bags to help kids who might be going through maybe some bullying, maybe they’ve had a death in their family. And they’re experiencing some grief, some sort of trauma or some sort of adverse childhood experience. So Sammy Spinoza hope, yes, we started visiting the homeless shelters that housed children. So families that were there, and we also started visiting, oh my gosh, I’m so drawn to blank where women can go safe houses that safe houses where women can go if they’ve left an abusive home and environment and brought their children with them. And so we started visiting those places, bringing Sammy with us as a therapy dog because she and I are a therapy dog team, and then delivering these bags to kids. And we wrote a little book when my daughter was nine, she and I called the doodle with the noodle. And it’s about to see me and it was written for preschoolers. So it’s very simplistic, but it’s about loss and in how to overcome losing something that you treasure and love. And we started putting a signed copy, we put a little paw print of CMEs in each of these books, like she signed the book as the author. And we put those in the bags. And so it was just a way for us to help kids because I’ve certainly been that kid who’s been going through horror. And just to offer them something that maybe they can have a stress ball to squeeze or maybe just some bubbles, just something to help them stay in the now and just keep their bodies calm. And that’s our our little project.Anna Ditchburn:
You do such an amazing job. And it really sounds like a whole bundle of hope and joy and happiness theory. What improvement Have you noticed in those kids behavior?Teri Wellbrock:
Oh, well, I tell you what, if I can just talk about just Sammys presence. I’ve noticed such incredible shifts in children. We were at a school working through the counselor’s office at an elementary school. Oh, and I think this little guy must have been about fourth grade. And they came in and we see me with do 15 minute intervals with these kiddos, working through the counselors. And one of the counselors came in and said, Would it be okay if Sammy met with this little guy, this little fourth grader that’s not unscheduled today. And, of course, absolutely bring them in. And I could tell he had tear stains down his face where he had just been crying all morning. And this was very early when school started maybe around nine. And he sat on a beanbag chair, and Sammy was instantaneously on him. Here’s this big Labradoodle as big as this fourth grader and she just she just snuggled right into him. And he just had his hand on her head and was just no words were exchanged here. And I just sit there I don’t I don’t intercede at all. I just let see me work her magic. And this little guy just started loving on saving Lebanon saving and suddenly his you know, his sniffles dried and his tears dried. And he. And then I could see he was starting to engage with her. And he started giggling. And Sammy was trying to lick some tears off of his face. And he just thought it was hilarious. And so by the end of he ended up staying the whole hour. And by the end of that hour, when we were in that room, he can’t he went from being this frightened, scared little guy who was hurting tremendously to being this joyous, just laughter filled kid, again, with no words exchanged, it was just love and presence. And I learned so much from Sammy and the way she would engage with people will after he had left the the counselor told us that his sister who is a teenager, had attempted suicide. And so his parents had to be at the hospital with his sister who did survive. I found out later. So he was alone at school and scared and not knowing what was happening with his sister was she going to live and so CME was able to just bring some calm into his life, I get a little choked up, I’m starting to get a little teary eyed just thinking about it, because it’s just such a powerful, powerful gift and exchange. And again, I’ve I’ve learned a lot from a sweet dog.Anna Ditchburn:
What an amazing story. You know, it’s very close to my heart. Because when I left my house at the age of 21, I got a small Pomeranian and he really saved my life. He gave me a purpose in my life. It was such an amazing feeling just to have him next to me. So very, you’re doing such an amazing job.Teri Wellbrock:
Thank you so much. And I just feel I call it my soul work. We’re all of this, all of this in the trauma recovery arena is my sole work because I just feel compelled to shine a light of hope. Because I’ve been in that darkness. And it’s a scary place to be. And I just want to now that I’ve made it through that healing journey, and I’m still on the healing journey. It’s a forever path. But to be able to be in this place of joy and tranquility, in reach my hand back into that darkness, I just I just feel called to do so.Anna Ditchburn:
Very, and I know you suffered a lot from panic attacks and complex PTSD, where when did it start?Teri Wellbrock:ing fear of fear. And then in:Anna Ditchburn:
Wow, what a story. I appreciate you sharing this with us. Thanks, Terry. How does this healing process works MDI, how does it work?Teri Wellbrock:
Oh, EMDR Oh, I’m the MDR Yes, I am the biggest fan of that. So So Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. So what Dr. Shapiro, who is the founder and discoverer of EMDR was working with soldiers who had returned for more and noticed when they were speaking about traumatic events and more, that their eyes were moving back and forth. And so she came up with this way of going back in traumas, where you either look at a light bar that makes your eyes go back and forth through follow up with your eyes, or I held paddles in my hand that would vibrate left, right. Back and forth. There sounds you can put headphones on will have sounds going back and forth. But the whole gist is to go into what when we go into REM sleep, rapid eye movement. That’s when we have those vivid dreams, right? And we process the day’s events. And I sometimes say you know if you if you wake up and go Why did I dream about a giant tomato chasing me down the street like are those crazy dreams, right? And then, but then if we would think back a lot of times it’s subconscious. Oh, we overheard two women sitting at a restaurant who were talking about getting food poisoning because they thought that tomatoes were bad. And so Our brain goes, Oh, tomato’s bad. Let’s process that. We process it through a crazy dream. And then it’s gone. And it no longer haunts us. It’s no longer is it causes triggering? Well, when we go through horrific trauma, so many times it overwhelms our system overwhelms our bodies, especially, you know, like me as a little kid, having all of that happened to me, my body couldn’t handle it, my my mind my all of it. And so it just became this trapped stored negative energy that I didn’t know what to do with. And so EMDR gave me a way to then revisit those traumatic events safely, we would do a lot of grounding work, we would do a lot of check in, like, where do you feel it in your body, I’d say, Oh, my stomach’s should, you know, flipping off, somebody feels like somebody’s squeezing my shoulder. So those kinds of like body sensations, body memories. And then we would go back into the trauma, I would, you know, follow the sound, follow the light bar. And just notice what comes up. And sometimes again, it would be a body memory, like, Oh, my legs are tingling, really, really bad. Or, oh, somebody squeezed gripping my shoulder. Or it would be the crazy things like I’m riding my tricycle in the sky, like but but we then we would follow it. And again, it became almost dreamlike, but consciously, to allow myself to just process and work through so many of these horrors. And then I would be exhausted and cry a lot afterwards for the next 24 hours, because, but I kept going back and kept going back because every single time and again, I might cry, I felt just a little more healing happening, I felt a little more hope. Because I thought I was broken forever. I truly did. And not understanding yet brain plasticity in the fact that we can rewire our brains, we can change the way those neurons are firing. Huge, it changed, it shifted everything for me, because now I understood that I could heal this that I could still have the memories, but not have the emotional charge connected to it. So like me just now going through all those traumatic events. I don’t feel triggered, I don’t feel panicky, I don’t have anxiety. And I almost sound robotic when I rattle them off. But it’s because they no longer have that emotional connection to it.Anna Ditchburn:
Isn’t it a great feeling that feel free from those emotions? Yeah. Terry, I just want to I wanted to go back a little bit to your childhood when your parents first attempted to kill you in the bath. Why? Have you ever had a conversation with them? What was happening? Yeah,Teri Wellbrock:t quit drinking until she was:Anna Ditchburn:
what made sure to stop drowning? Oh,Teri Wellbrock:
well, again, that’s another part of the trauma story, my dad came into the bathroom. And I don’t know if an angel appeared in his ear or what inspired him to open that door. But he did. And he punched my mom and knocked her across the bathroom. And she landed between the toilet and the sink. So again, very violent. My mom tried to stab my dad with a butcher knife, but he lifted a chair and it went through that I watched my mom be arrested. So there was just there was a lot of chaos just woven into my entire childhood. Again, you know, when I talk about my trauma, I just kind of put in some bullet points of things that had gone wrong, or horrific, not even wrong, horrific. But that that was just the way that’s just the way my life was. And so I grew up thinking that was normal.Anna Ditchburn:
I can resonate with you. I felt like physical and mental and spiritual and sexual abuse was normal theory when your first sexual assault happened at the age of five years old. Did you tell to anyone,Teri Wellbrock:
that’s been something we’ve been revisiting I, I’ve been going through a health crisis physically the last year doing much better, thankfully. But I started back to EMDR. Here in South Carolina, I found a wonderful practitioner, because I thought I wanted to take care of my mental health along this, this physical journey. So we started to go back into into that. And one of the things that I tapped into was standing in the driveway at five years old, and trying to tell my dad in him responding, we don’t talk about that. So I don’t know if that was an actual moment. Or if that was just like my brain trying to wrap around the fact. But I will say that to of my, of the predators that accosted me as a child, the 16 year old the first time, when I was five, he threatened to kill my mom, if I told anyone. And then the 19 year old that when I was nine years old, he also threatened to kill my mom, and we live next door to them. So I, that was again, part of that, that I internalized and took on that weight, along with being sexually accosted and sexually molested, of taking on that weight of, if I tell anyone, my mom will die. So again, I’m on the fence about whatever I tried to tell my dad or not, and whether again, that was a processing thing, or whether I really did try and he couldn’t handle it. Because then once I started doing all this healing work, oh my gosh, then I dealt with my dad’s trauma in his childhood, and everything started to make sense, because I started to look at it from oh my gosh, my dad grew up with an alcoholic father who was abusive to him. And, and I, again, I know I’m repeating myself, and I’m not making excuses. It’s just coming from a place of understanding and compassion. Not without excusing the behavior.Anna Ditchburn:
And I completely understand where you’re talking about, because looking back at my stepfather’s childhood, him growing up with an alcoholic father, a very abusive man. And I remember my grandmother was telling me all these horrendous things, and she and she wasn’t kind person either. She called my stepfather of very horrendous wars. No wonder he was he was passing on those kinds of behaviors on us when he was like, horribly controlling and abusive, but it helped me to forgive him. Honestly, I saw him as a five year old a year old years old boy He’s so scared, and so damaged by his parents. And that’s why I believe it’s so important to heal.Teri Wellbrock:
And I my hearts hugging yours, because that’s how I’ve, I’ve dealt with all of my forgiveness journeys. And I know forgiveness is one of those. Those, I don’t want to say taboo, but one of the subjects in the trauma arena and the trauma recovery arena where some folks are like, I’m never forgiving, I’m not going there. Don’t ask me to do it. And I say everyone’s on your own journey, if you’re feeling moved to forgive, certainly do the healing work, but it’s not a prerequisite for reaching a place of happiness and peace. But I did the same thing. I let’s just take the bank robber, James Mills, the one who killed Marsha Berger, and had held the gun in my head while I finally took a step back and said, You know what, he and I were both born these innocent little babies, right? These little creatures. And somewhere along his path, he chose, and yes, it was his choice. But he chose to go down this dark road, this dark path that included violence and crime and all that he had chosen. But when I saw him as this little being is this like little being of light, I was able to then forgive his soul. And it wasn’t necessarily that I forgave him in his actions, but I was able to forgive his soul in this little creature. And so that’s how I was able to do it. So I love it that you did this did a similar forgiveness. AndAnna Ditchburn:
you’re right. It’s not about absorbing the responsibilities. Not it’s definitely keeping a person and accountable for his actions. But it’s more for for your, for your own health and for your own soul.Teri Wellbrock:
theory, Have you forgiven your mother?Teri Wellbrock:
Oh, most definitely. I just adore her so much. And I can’t even there’s no animosity I talked to her everyday, we live a couple states apart now. And she truly is just a sweet, loving, kind, compassionate, beautiful soul who was very, very broken, and dove into vodka as a way to cope. And I get that now. And I understand that now. And even when she fell off the wagon, within this last year, she had, it was a Christmas. I was very kind and very patient and very just compassionate with her and she was able to pull herself back together. But I also understand, you know, our codependent relationship. And so we’ve healed that and I no longer the one that goes in and saves the day and cleans up the mess. And so that’s been a part of that healing. But, you know, just to help you understand a really quick little story about my mom. So this was when my mom was still drinking. She did this. She was my sister and I had bought her this beautiful red wool coat that she had wanted so much. And she lives in a in Cincinnati, Ohio, which it gets really cold in the winter. And a couple of months after Christmas, like maybe I don’t know, March or April, I saw her wearing her old black beat up coat. And I said, Mom, where’s your red coat? We just bought you. You can wear it all the time. It’s not just for fancy holidays. And she said, Oh, she said I was at the library. And I saw a teenage girl standing there waiting for the bus and she was shivering and she didn’t have a coat on. And so I said to her, Do you not have a coat? And she said, No, I don’t have one. And she said, so I gave her my new coat. And that’s just the way she is now at first I was irritated because I was like, oh my god, what am I gonna do for Christmas? But then again, I was like, Oh, Mom, you’re such a beautiful soul. Like that’s how she tries to live. And so she really, really does try to do what’s best. And she’s has said, she’s sorry for what we went through. She says I won’t know I wasn’t the best mother and I say, Mom, you did the best you could with what you had. And that’s all I can do. That’s all we can give each other.Anna Ditchburn:
Exactly. Through my own healing journey. Terry, I’ve realized on my own experience as well that drinking and you know, taking drugs, I haven’t been taking drugs but my my husband did. gambling, sex addiction. All these escapism. It’s all the result of childhood traumas. It’s not just because we have nothing else to do, or because we are bad people. It’s something is triggering those behaviors. in us. And now you are a mother of three beautiful kids theory and how you your own healing, help improve your relationship with your kids. Oh,Teri Wellbrock:h their father. I left him in:Anna Ditchburn:
on my hazing. And I also believe that we need an adversity in our life to grow, but it made us just when we leave with unresolved and healed, that’s when the impact, the negative impact. Is that working?Teri Wellbrock:
Absolutely. Yes, I talk about it often. And they I’ve had so many people say to me through the years, well, not so many. I’ve had a few people say to me through the years, just let it go. It’s in the past. My mom tried that with me at one point before she had done her healing work. Oh, Terry, that happened so long ago, you keep you can’t dwell on that. And finally, I was like, alright, Mom, we’re going to have a little talk about ACEs science, which is adverse childhood experiences, and I’m going to help you understand the way it trauma impacts our brains, our chemistry, our bodies, our spirit. It has a profound impact, and we can’t just let it go. It’s not the way it works. And until we do the work, do the healing processes. And I’m not talking you have to do EMDR. I mean, there’s somatic healing, there’s tapping, there’s whatever therapy, whatever modalities you go through to do your healing work, as long as it works for you. And I tell people, like, figure out what works for you try different things. I have this coping skills box. That’s toolbox. That’s humongous, because I’ll try her oponopono Hawaiian healing and I’ll try tapping or emotional freedom technique. I’ll try meditation in just give it a whirl. See, see what clicks for you.Anna Ditchburn:
Debbie, how does it feel for you being healed? Or like, start healing? What sort of feelings you haveTeri Wellbrock:
life altering? I just feel so very blessed. I’ve always been a person of positivity and people would say to me tear you radiate joy, you’re always smiling. And how did you live through all that? And I’d say I have no idea. But then I realized I also had high resilience in my life. I had a grandmother in my life who was incredibly loving. Such a sweet gentle soul never yelled at me never hit me. Just a beautiful presence in my life. I had a second grade teacher who was invited me to her house and give me a little I still have a little heart trinket that she gave me a little Holly hobby ceramic And the little container that I kept like jewel earrings in and stuff. And so my feelings now are that trauma can come along or or moments of life can come along, it doesn’t necessarily have to be trauma trauma, like this illness. Normally, this would have knocked me for a loop, right? But instead, I’ve looked at it from such a different lens through the healed lens and said, Okay, what lesson am I supposed to be learning through this struggle? What lesson am I going to take away from this? And so yeah, there’s days where it’s hard, and I cry, or I struggle a bit. But then I take myself up to the beach, and I sit, and I meditate, and I pray, and I look at the dolphins. And I just allow myself these moments of being in the now I practice mindfulness daily, I talk to my little lizards that live on the bushes in the front yard, and I, you know, allow the bird songs to just permeate my being. And I just practice gratitude. And I practice mindfulness and live in the moment. And then the scary stuff isn’t so scary, and I feel joyous and peaceful,Anna Ditchburn:
I can feel your joy, and I can feel your face, the screen of my laptop. And the first time when we met, I saw your sparkling eyes, I saw your beautiful, big smile. And I could feel I could feel your energy. And it was before you start telling me your story. And I couldn’t believe what you’ve gone through. It’s a magic what’s happening when you do a healing work. And what helped me is not to forget them and move on. But to face my deepest, darkest, really go deeper, and see what the situation was teaching me about. And I believe that a trauma can be a very powerful source of inspiration for self development, and self healing, and self love. It just depends what story you want to believe in, whether you want to keep going as a victim, or whether you want to keep going as a striver.Teri Wellbrock:
Yes, I love it. And I talk up, I so often bring this up on my show, as well as conversations with folks who are going through difficult times, we can move from being a survivor to thriver. And it’s all a matter of being willing to go back into that darkness. And I’m not going to lie, it’s scary to go back into that darkness. But when you have hands to hold, like yours, and your beautiful work mine, and so many survivors who have done the healing work, oh, how many folks I know who are in working in the trauma recovery Rini arena, who are trauma survivors, and they’re doing it because they know that we all need a hand to hold. And so they we all just keep reaching our hands back in like, come on, you can do this. Come on, you can do this grab a hold. And yeah, it’s a beautiful place to be is I know, you know, to be to make it through that theory. AndAnna Ditchburn:
what inspired you to start your podcast, the healing place podcast,Teri Wellbrock:
that’s such a great story. So I was working in a mental health agency in the school systems and putting that psychology degree to us. And one of my friends is it was a therapist, and she was in her 20s At the time, and I was in my 40s. And she said, Hey, Terry, we should totally start a podcast. I was like, That sounds awesome. What’s a podcast? I have no clue. So she was said, Oh my gosh, Robles totally do it. So she and I started this podcast, the healing place by guests. And our first 10 episodes we did together. And it was just silly. It was talking about angels and aliens. And you know, we get serious about trauma and so forth. But it was just a fun, silly podcast. And she ended up getting a job offer at a children’s hospital, and was running a private practice as well. And so she was like, it’s just too much. It’s too much for me to do with two jobs as a therapist. So I said, Okay, well, I’m going to keep going with it, but I’m going to take it in a little more serious direction. Yes, we still laugh And smile on the show. But I wanted to make it more about really focused in on trauma recovery. And that was the way it started. But I just started reaching out to big names in the trauma recovery world. I thought, Oh, what the heck, I’ll reach out and say, Hey, would you want to join me on my show. And some of these names came back and said, I would love to be on your show. And oh, my god, like these people, some of them I just consider still dear friends, we’re friends on Facebook. They’re just beautiful, wonderful people, I learned so much from them. I’ve watched some of them blossom into these amazing huge businesses doing healing work, and touring and writing books. And now, again, they’re teaching me how to do that journey and finish my book and launch it. And in all of that beautiful, beautiful healing work that that comes with. Then turning that around and offering it to others.Anna Ditchburn:
Your podcast is so amazing. And you’re right. It’s it’s a, it’s a difficult topic, but the way how you how you interview people, and how you create this safe and open environment where people just can open up is amazing.Teri Wellbrock:
Oh, thank you so much. I again, I just, I feel so blessed to be doing it. Because I think, wow, it continues to blossom. It’s been downloaded in 114 countries, but I also interviewed people. I’ll have people reach out to me from New Zealand, or, gosh, Italy, I just had someone on from Italy, just from all over the world. So it’s helped me reach a global audience. And then it just one of my guests came on and said, where do you rank on Listen score, and I was like, What the heck isn’t score. This is how I learned, right? So I popped on and it’s in the top 2.5 of podcasts out of 2.8. And so again, I’m just like, oh my gosh, how did this happen? It’s so crazy. Awesome. So I love it.Anna Ditchburn:
Thank you so much for helping people to heal throughout the world.Teri Wellbrock:
Oh, well, thanks, I again, I I feel blessed to be able to just know so many beautiful souls and have them come across my path. Because I certainly learned from them as well during these interviews, dairy,Anna Ditchburn:
and what tools do you use to help your clients to heal?Teri Wellbrock:
Oh, I think every no one is a cookie cutter, right? Like, No, we just don’t have these cookie cutter solutions. So everyone has an individualized plan. And so just helping people understand one that no, you don’t have to meditate to do healing, because some people will be like, I can’t do it my mind, I can’t get my mind to turn off. It’s okay. I couldn’t do breath work when my therapists kept telling me, you know, do practice these breathing exercises for square and but all the different types. And I thought, I can’t do it. Because breathing to me, it would bring attention to the fact that I was in my body. And at the time, I was still doing the healing work. And I was terrified to be in my body. I would rather like be outside my body a little dissociated, and not be in my body. And so yeah, it’s certainly, again, I have this huge collection of coping skills. And so it’s a matter of going through and letting people really find what works for them. And coming up with a healing plan together. is the best way in my opinion to help them figure it out.Anna Ditchburn:
100% agree we all different Gary, where people can find you.Teri Wellbrock:podcast. I think there’s like:Anna Ditchburn:
amazing. And before we go theory, do you have any concluding thoughts?Teri Wellbrock:
Oh, hashtag never give up. That’s one of my na Hashtag hope for healing those are the two I use because there’s always hope for healing. Absolutely 100% no doubt in my mind that you can do the healing work and never give up even in those moments where you feel overwhelmed, you’re struggling, reach out, find a handhold and our even find a pod or hold right, you can find a CME. Paul, and you can get through this and never give up.
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